Near death experience



Two different people's reports of their Near Death Experience (NDE).


 1. 'Through the light' by Mellen-Thomas Benedict's 


 2. 'Patsy's Story'  by Patsy Davis




Through the light

Mellen-Thomas Benedict's near-death experience

Mellen-Thomas Benedict is an artist who survived a near-death experience in 1982.  He was dead for over an hour and a half and during that time, he rose up out of his body and went into the Light. Curious about the universe, he was taken far into the remote depths of existence, and even beyond, into the energetic Void of Nothingness behind the Big Bang. Concerning his nde, Dr. Kenneth Ring has said, "His story is one of the most remarkable I have encountered in my extensive research on near-death experiences."

The road to death

In 1982 I died from terminal cancer.  The condition I had was inoperable, and any kind of chemotherapy they could give me would just have made me more of a vegetable.  I was given six to eight months to live.  I had been an information freak in the 1970's, and I had become increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth.   So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe that nature had made a mistake, and that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet.  I saw no way that we could get out from all the problems we had created for ourselves and the planet.  I perceived all humans as cancer, and that is what I got.  That is what killed me.  Be careful what your world view is.  It can feed back on you, especially if it is a negative world view.  I had a seriously negative one.   That is what led me into my death.  I tried all sorts of alternative healing methods, but nothing helped.

So I determined that this was really just between me and God.  I had never really faced God before, or even dealt with God.  I was not into any kind of spirituality at the time, but I began a journey into learning about spirituality and alternative healing. I set out to do all the reading I could and bone up on the subject, because I did not want to be surprised on the other side.  So I started reading on various religions and philosophies.  They were all very interesting, and gave hope that there was something on the other side.  

On the other hand, as a self-employed stained-glass artist at the time, I had no medical insurance whatsoever.  So my life savings went overnight in testing.   Then I was facing the medical profession without any kind of insurance.  I did not want to have my family dragged down financially, so I determined to handle this myself.  There was not constant pain, but there were black-outs.  I got so that I would not dare to drive, and eventually I ended up in hospice care.  I had my own personal hospice caretaker.  I was very blessed by this angel who went through the last part of this with me.  I lasted about eighteen months.  I did not want to take a lot of drugs, since I wanted to be as conscious as possible.  Then I experienced such pain that I had nothing but pain in my consciousness, luckily only for a few days at a time.  

The light of God

I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 am, and I just knew that this was it.  This was the day I was going to die.  So I called a few friends and said goodbye.  I woke up my hospice caretaker and told her.  I had a private agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen when you die.  I went back to sleep.  The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near-death experience.  Suddenly I was fully aware and I was standing up, but my body was in the bed.  There was this darkness around me.   Being out of my body was even more vivid than ordinary experience.  It was so vivid that I could see every room in the house, I could see the top of the house, I could see around the house, I could see under the house.

There was this Light shining.   I turned toward the Light.  The Light was very similar to what many other people have described in their near-death experiences.  It was so magnificent.   It is tangible; you can feel it.  It is alluring; you want to go to it like you would want to go to your ideal mother's or father's arms.  As I began to move toward the Light, I knew intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would be dead.   So as I was moving toward the Light I said, "Please wait a minute, just hold on a second here.  I want to think about this;  I would like to talk to you before I go."  To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point.   You are indeed in control of your near-death experience.  You are not on a roller coaster ride.  So my request was honoured and I had some conversations with the Light.  The Light kept changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs.  I asked the Light, "What is going on here?  Please, Light, clarify yourself for me.  I really want to know the reality of the situation."  I cannot really say the exact words, because it was sort of telepathy.  The Light responded.  The information transferred to me was that your beliefs shape the kind of feedback you are getting before the Light.  If you were a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff.  You have a chance to look at it and examine it, but most people do not.   As the Light revealed itself to me, I became aware that what I was really seeing was our Higher Self matrix.  The only thing I can tell you is that it turned into a matrix, a mandala of human souls, and what I saw was that what we call our Higher Self in each of us is a matrix.  It's also a conduit to the Source; each one of us comes directly, as a direct experience from the Source.  We all have a Higher Self, or an oversoul part of our being.  It revealed itself to me in its truest energy form.  The only way I can really describe it is that the being of the Higher Self is more like a conduit.  It did not look like that, but it is a direct connection to the Source that each and every one of us has.  We are directly connected to the Source.  So the Light was showing me the Higher Self matrix.  And it became very clear to me that all the Higher Selves are connected as one being, all humans are connected as one being, we are actually the same being, different aspects of the same being.   It was not committed to one particular religion.   So that is what was being fed back to me.  And I saw this mandala of human souls.  It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  I just went into it and, it was just overwhelming.   It was like all the love you've every wanted, and it was the kind of love that cures, heals, regenerates. 

As I asked the Light to keep explaining, I understood what the Higher Self matrix is.  We have a grid around the planet where all the Higher Selves are connected.  This is like a great company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the spirit level, you might say.  Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked for more clarification.  I really wanted to know what the universe is about, and I was ready to go at that time.  I said "I am ready, take me."  Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet.  Now I came to this with my negative view of what has happen on the planet.  So as I asked the light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how beautiful we all are in our essence, our core.  We are the most beautiful creations.  The human soul, the human matrix that we all make together is absolutely fantastic, elegant, exotic, everything.  I just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in that instant.  I said, "Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are."   At any level, high or low, in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation, you are.  I was astonished to find that there was no evil in any soul.   I said "How can this be?"  The answer was that no soul was inherently evil.  The terrible things that happened to people might make them do evil things, but their souls were not evil.  What all people seek, what sustains them, is love, the Light told me.  What distorts people is a lack of love.

The revelations coming from the Light seemed to go on and on, then I asked the Light, "Does this mean that humankind will be saved?"  Then, like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke, saying, "Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal yourself.  You always have.  You always will.  You were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of the world."

In that instant I realized even more.  I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED, and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self-correct like the rest of God's universe.  This is what the second coming is about.  I thanked the Light of God with all my heart.  The best thing I could come up with was these simple words of totally appreciation:  "Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I love my Life."  The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply.  It was as if the Light was completely absorbing me.   The Love Light is, to this day, indescribable.  I entered into another realm, more profound than the last, and became aware of something more, much more.  It was an enormous stream of Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart of Life.  I asked what this was.

The Light responded, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE.  Drink of this manna water to your heart's content."  So I did.  I took one big drink and then another.  To drink of Life Itself!  I was in ecstasy.

Then the Light said, "You have a desire."  The Light knew all about me, everything past, present and future.

"Yes!" I whispered.

I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond our solar system, beyond all human illusion.  The Light then told me that I could go with the Stream.  I did, and was carried through the Light at the end of the tunnel.  I felt and heard a series of very soft sonic booms.  What a rush!

The void of nothingness

Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life.  I saw the earth fly away.  The solar system, in all its splendour, whizzed by and disappeared.  At faster than light speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went.  I learned that this galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many different varieties of LIFE.  I saw many worlds.   The good news is that we are not alone in this Universe!  As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the galaxy, the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy.  The super clusters of galaxies with all their ancient wisdom flew by.  At first I thought I was going somewhere; actually travelling.  But then I realized that, as the stream was expanding, my own consciousness was also expanding to take in everything in the Universe!  All creation passed by me.  It was an unimaginable wonder!  I truly was a Wonder Child; a babe in Wonderland!

It seemed as if all the creations in the Universe soared by me and vanished in a speck of Light.  Almost immediately, a second Light appeared.  It came from all sides, and was so different; a Light made up of more than every frequency in the Universe.  I felt and heard several velvety sonic booms again.  My consciousness, or being, was expanding to interface with the entire Holographic Universe and more.  As I passed into the second Light, the awareness came to me that I had just transcended the Truth.  Those are the best words I have for it, but I will try to explain.  As I passed into the second Light, I expanded beyond the First Light.  I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence.  I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity.

I was in the Void.

I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang.  I had crossed over the beginning of time - the First Word - the First vibration.  I was in the Eye of Creation.  I felt as if I was touching the Face of God.  It was not a religious feeling.  Simply I was at one with Absolute Life and Consciousness.

When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of creation generating itself.   It was without beginning and without end.  That's a mind-expanding thought, isn't it?  Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single event which created the Universe.  I saw that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously.  The only images that even come close in human terms would be those created by supercomputers using fractal geometry equations.

The ancients knew of this.   They said Godhead periodically created new Universes by breathing out, and de-creating other Universes by breathing in.  These epochs were called Yugas.   Modern science called this the Big Bang.  I was in absolute, pure consciousness.  I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and de-creating themselves.  Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously.  I saw that each and every little piece of creation has the power to create.  It is very difficult to try to explain this.  I am still speechless about this.

It took me years after I returned to assimilate any words at all for the Void experience.  I can tell you this now; the Void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that is!  The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities.  It is Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence.

Where is the Void?  I know. The Void is inside and outside everything.  You, right now even while you live, are always inside and outside the Void simultaneously.  You don't have to go anywhere or die to get there.  The Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations.  The SPACE between atoms and their components.  Modern science has begun to study this space between everything.  They call it Zero-point.  Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity, so to speak.  They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately.  There is more of the zero space in your own body and the Universe than anything else!

What mystics call the Void is not a void.  It is so full of energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything that we are.  Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which is the first vibration.  The biblical "I am" really has a question mark after it.  "I am - What am I?"  So creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us.  Through every piece of hair on your head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom, God is exploring God's Self, the great "I am".  I began to see that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self.  Everything is the great Self.  That is why God knows even when a leaf falls.  That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe.   Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe.  There is God in that, and God in the Void.

As I was exploring the Void and all the Yugas or creations, I was completely out of time and space as we know it.  In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of Life as we know it.  The Void itself is devoid of experience.  It is pre-life, before the first vibration.  Godhead is about more than Life and Death.  Therefore there is even more than Life and Death to experience in the Universe!

I was in the Void and I was aware of everything that had ever been created.  It was like I was looking out of God's eyes.   I had become God.  Suddenly I wasn't me anymore.  The only thing I can say, I was looking out of God's eyes.  And suddenly I knew why every atom was, and I could see everything.  The interesting point was that I went into the Void, I came back with this understanding that God is not there.  God is here.  That's what it is all about.  So this constant search of the human race to go out and find God ... God gave everything to us, everything is here - this is where it's at.  And what we are into now is God's exploration of God through us.   People are so busy trying to become God that they ought to realize that we are already God and God is becoming us.  That's what it is really about.

When I realized this, I was finished with the Void, and wanted to return to this creation, or Yuga.  It just seemed like the natural thing to do.  Then I suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more velvet booms.  I rode the stream of consciousness back through all of creation, and what a ride it was!  The super clusters of galaxies came through me with even more insights.  I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole.  Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe.   Do you know what is on the other side of a Black Hole?  We are; our galaxy; which has been reprocessed from another Universe.  In its total energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights.  All energy this side of the Big Bang is light.  Every sub-atom, atom, star, planet, even consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/or particle.  Light is living stuff.   Everything is made of light, even stones.  So everything is alive.   Everything is made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent.

The light of love

As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge Light coming.  I knew it was the First Light; the Higher Self Light Matrix of our solar system.  Then the entire solar system appeared in the Light, accompanied by one of those velvet booms.

I saw that the solar system we live in is our larger, local body.  This is our local body and we are much bigger than we imagine.  I saw that the solar system is our body.  I am a part of this, and the earth is this great created being that we are, and we are the part of it that knows that it is.  But we are only that part of it.  We are not everything, but we are that part of it that knows that it is.

I could see all the energy that this solar system generates, and it is an incredible light show!  I could hear the Music of the Spheres.  Our solar system, as do all celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory energies.  Advanced civilizations from other star systems can spot life as we know it in the universe by the vibratory or energy matrix imprint.  It is child's play.  The earth's Wonder Child (human beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children playing in the backyard of the universe.

I rode the stream directly into the center of the Light.  I felt embraced by the Light as it took me in with its breath again, followed by another soft sonic boom. 

I was in this great Light of Love with the stream of life flowing through me.  I have to say again, it is the most loving, non-judgmental Light.  It is the ideal parent for this Wonder Child.

"What now?" I wondered.

The Light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal beings.  We have already been alive forever!  I realized that we are part of a natural living system that recycles itself endlessly.   I was never told that I had to come back.  I just knew that I would.  It was only natural, from what I had seen.

I don't know how long I was with the Light, in human time.  But there came a moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my return was near.  When I say that all my questions were answered on the other side, I mean to say just that.  All my questions have been answered.  Every human has a different life and set of questions to explore.   Some of our questions are Universal, but each of us is exploring this thing we call Life in our own unique way.  So is every other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on every tree.

 And that is very important to the rest of us in this Universe.  Because it all contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of Life.  We are literally God exploring God's Self in an infinite Dance of Life.  Your uniqueness enhances all of Life.

 His return to earth

As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told, that I would return to the same body.  It just did not matter.  I had complete trust in the Light and the Life process.  As the stream merged with the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side.

There was a "Yes".   It felt like a kiss to my soul.

Then I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory realm again.  The whole process reversed, with even more information being given to me.  I came back home, and I was given lessons on the mechanics of reincarnation.  I was given answers to all those little questions I had:   "How does this work?  How does that work?"  I knew that I would be reincarnated.  The earth is a great processor of energy, and individual consciousness evolves out of that into each one of us.  I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was happy to be that.  From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe.  An atom.  So to be the human part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing.  It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can be.  For each and every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome, and magnificent.  Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are.

So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere.  But I was given a lesson on how individual identity and consciousness evolve.  So I reincarnated back into this body.  I was so surprised when I opened my eyes.  I do not know why, because I understood it, but it was still such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my room with someone looking over me crying her eyes out.  It was my hospice caretaker.  She had given up an hour and a half after finding me dead. She was sure I was dead; all the signs of death were there - I was getting stiff.  We do not know how long I was dead, but we do know that it was an hour and a half since I was found.  She honoured my wish to have my newly dead body left alone for a few hours as much as she could.  We had an amplified stethoscope and many ways of checking out the vital functions of the body to see what was happening.  She can verify that I really was dead.  It was not a near-death experience.  I experienced death itself for at least an hour and a half.   She found me dead and checked the stethoscope, blood pressure and heart rate monitor for an hour and a half.  Then I awakened and saw the light outside.  I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the bed.  She heard a loud "clunk", ran in and found me on the floor.

When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had happened to me.  At first all the memory of the trip that I have now was not there.  I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?"  This world seemed more like a dream than that one.  Within three days, I was feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my life.  My memory of the journey came back later.  I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever seen.  Before that I was really judgmental.  I thought a lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody was screwed up but me.  But I got clear on all that.

About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and got the scans and so forth.  I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting bad news.  I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and after scans, saying, "Well, there is nothing here now."  I said, "Really, it must be a miracle?"  He said "No, these things happen, they are called spontaneous remission."  He acted very unimpressed.  But here was a miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else was.

Lessons he learned

The mystery of life has very little to do with intelligence.  The universe is not an intellectual process at all.   The intellect is helpful; it is brilliant, but right now that is all we process with, instead of our hearts and the wiser part of ourselves.

The center of the earth is this great transmuter of energy, just as you see in pictures of our earth's magnetic field.  That's our cycle, pulling reincarnated souls back in and through it again.   A sign that you are reaching human level is that you are beginning to evolve an individual consciousness.  The animals have a group soul, and they reincarnate in group souls.  A deer is pretty much going to be a deer forever.  But just being born a human, whether deformed or genius, shows that you are on the path to developing an individual consciousness.  That is in itself part of the group consciousness called humanity.  I saw that races are personality clusters.  Nations like France, Germany and China each have their own personality.  Cities have personalities, their local group souls that attract certain people.  Families have group souls.   Individual identity is evolving like branches of a fractal; the group soul explores in our individuality.  The different questions that each of us has are very, very important.  This is how Godhead is exploring God's Self - through you.  So ask your questions, do your searching.  You will find your Self and you will find God in that Self, because it is only the Self.

More than that, I began to see that each one of us humans are soul mates.  We are part of the same soul fractaling out in many creative directions, but still the same.  Now I look at every human being that I ever see, and I see a soul mate, my soul mate, the one I have always been looking for.   Beyond that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have is yourself.  We are each both male and female.  We experience this in the womb and we experience this in reincarnation states.  If you are looking for that ultimate soul mate outside of yourself, you may never find it;  it is not there.  Just as God is not "there".  God is here.  Don't look "out there" for God.   Look here for God.  Look through your Self.  Start having the greatest love affair you ever had ... with your Self.  You will love everything out of that.

I had a descent into what you might call Hell, and it was very surprising.  I did not see Satan or evil.  My descent into Hell was a descent into each person's customized human misery, ignorance, and darkness of not-knowing.  It seemed like a miserable eternity.  But each of the millions of souls around me had a little star of light always available.  But no one seemed to pay attention to it.  They were so consumed with their own grief, trauma and misery.  But, after what seemed an eternity, I started calling out to that Light, like a child calling to a parent for help.  Then the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me an insulated me from all that fear and pain.  That is what Hell really is.  So what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to come together.  The doors of Hell are open now.  We are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of Hell together.  The Light came to me and turned into a huge golden angel.  I said, "Are you the angel of death?"  It expressed to me that it was my oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super-ancient part of ourselves.  Then I was taken to the Light.

Soon our science will quantify spirit.  Isn't that going to be wonderful?  We are coming up with devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy or spirit energy.  Physicists use these atomic colliders to smash atoms to see what they are made of.  They have got it down to quarks and charm, and all that.  Well, one day they are going to come down to the little thing that holds it all together, and they are going to have to call that ... God.   With atomic colliders they are not only seeing what is in here, but they are creating particles.  Thank God most of them are short-lived milliseconds and nanoseconds.  We are just beginning to understand that we are creating too, as we go along.  As I saw forever, I came to a realm in which there is a point where we pass all knowledge and begin creating the next fractal, the next level.  We have that power to create as we explore.  And that is God expanding itself through us.

Since my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously, and I have learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation.  Each one of you can do this.  You do not have to die to do this.   It is within your equipment; you are wired for it already.  The body is the most magnificent Light being there is.  The body is a universe of incredible Light.   Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body.  That is not what is happening.  Stop trying to become God; God is becoming you.  Here.

The mind is like a child running around the universe, demanding this and thinking it created the world.  But I ask the mind:  "What did your mother have to do with this?"  That is the next level of spiritual awareness.  Oh!  my mother!  All of a sudden you give up the ego, because you are not the only soul in the universe.

One of my questions to the Light was "What is Heaven?"  I was given a tour of all the heavens that have been created:  the Nirvanas, the Happy Hunting Grounds, all of them.  I went through them.  These are thought form creations that we have created.  We don't really go to heaven; we are reprocessed.  But whatever we created, we leave a part of ourselves there.  It is real, but it is not all of the soul.

I saw the Christian Heaven.  We expect it to be a beautiful place, and you stand in front of the throne, worshipping forever.  I tried it.  It is boring!  This is all we are going to do?  It is childlike.  I do not mean to offend anyone.  Some heavens are very interesting, and some are very boring.  I found the ancient ones to be more interesting, like the Native American ones, the Happy Hunting Grounds.  The Egyptians have fantastic ones.  It goes on and on.  There are so many of them.   In each of them there is a fractal that is your particular interpretation, unless you are part of the group soul that believes in only the God of a particular religion.   Then you are very close, in the same ball park together.  But even then, each is a little bit different.  That is a part of yourself that you leave there.   Death is about Life, not about Heaven.

I asked God: "What is the best religion on the planet?  Which one is right?"  And Godhead said, with great love:  "I don't care."  That was incredible grace.  What that meant was that we are the caring beings here.  The Ultimate Godhead of all the stars tells us:  "It does not matter what religion you are."  They come and they go, they change.  Buddhism has not been here forever, Catholicism has not been here forever, and they are all about to become more enlightened.  More light is coming into all systems now.  There is going to be a reformation in spirituality that is going to be just as dramatic as the Protestant Reformation.  There will be lots of people fighting about it, one religion against the next, believing that only they are right.  Everyone thinks they own God, the religions and philosophies, especially the religions, because they form big organizations around the philosophy.  When Godhead said, "I don't care," I immediately understood that it is for us to care about.   It is important, because we are the caring beings.  It matters to us and that is where it is important.  What you have is the energy equation in spirituality.   Ultimate Godhead does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or whatever.   It is all a blooming facet of the whole.  I wish that all religions would realize it and let each other be.  It is not the end of each religion, but we are talking about the same God.  Live and let live.  Each has a different view.   And it all adds up to the big picture; it is all important.

I went over to the other side with a lot of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population explosion, the rainforest.  I came back loving every single problem.  I love nuclear waste.   I love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we have manifested to date, as an archetype.  It, more than any religion or philosophy on earth, brought us together all of a sudden, to a new level of consciousness.  Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all here together now.  For a period they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it in to us.  Then we started saying, "we do not need this any more."  Now we are actually in a safer world than we have ever been in, and it is going to get safer.   So I came back loving toxic waste, because it brought us together.  These things are so big.  As Peter Russell might say, these problems are now "soul size."  Do we have soul size answers?  YES!

The clearing of the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there will be more trees on the planet than in a long time.   If you are into ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming aware.  Go for it with all your might, but do not be depressed.  It is part of a larger thing.  Earth is in the process of domesticating itself.  It is never again going to be as wild a place as it once was.  There will be great wild places, reserves where nature thrives.  Gardening and reserves will be the thing in the future.  Population increase is getting very close to the optimal range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness.  That shift in consciousness will change politics, money, energy.

What happens when we dream?  We are multi-dimensional beings.  We can access that through lucid dreaming.  In fact, this universe is God's dream.  One of the things that I saw is that we humans are a speck on a planet that is a speck in a galaxy that is a speck.  Those are giant systems out there, and we are in sort of an average system.  But human beings are already legendary throughout the cosmos of consciousness.  The little bitty human being of Earth/Gaia is legendary.  One of the things that we are legendary for is dreaming.  We are legendary dreamers.  In fact, the whole cosmos has been looking for the meaning of life, the meaning of it all.  And it was the little dreamer who came up with the best answer ever.  We dreamed it up.  So dreams are important.

After dying and coming back, I really respect life and death.  In our DNA experiments we may have opened the door to a great secret.  Soon we will be able to live as long as we want to live in this body.  After living 150 years or so, there will be an intuitive soul sense that you will want to change channels.  Living forever in one body is not as creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy in this fantastic vortex of energy that we are in.   We are actually going to see the wisdom of life and death, and enjoy it.  As it is now, we have already been alive forever.  This body that you are in, has been alive forever.  It comes from an unending stream of life, going back to the Big Bang and beyond.  This body gives life to the next life, in dense and subtle energy.  This body has been alive forever already.

Lee Bailey

Written with Mellen Thomas Benedict





Patsy's Story
by Patsy Davis  

I am 65 years, old and have been married for 49 years. I am retired and we have 4 children and 9 grandchildren who all live very close to us. I want to tell you a little about my background and then tell you about my NDE. I was born in 1931 in Anthony, Kansas. I had 3 brothers and 2 sisters and a half sister. When I was in the 4th grade we moved to a ranch where we lived for 5 years and then moved to a farm for 2 years. Then my folks moved to Attica, KS.

I started working when I was 12 years old during that summer. When I was 14 my father, who was an alcoholic, told me to leave. He said that there could be only one boss in a home and he was it and since I was stronger than him, I had to leave. I left that day and went to Hutchinson, KS. to stay with my half sister. I went to work in their restaurant to pay for my room and board. I continued to go to school. In the middle of the year, I was called to the principle's office and told I would have to pay tuition of $500 which I did not have. They agreed to let me finish school that year but I could not return the following year. The next June I married my husband. We lived in Hutchinson, until 1959 when we moved to Renton, WA.

I was raised in the bible belt and in the Christian church. I had been baptized when I was 12 and I believed if you died before you were baptized you would go to hell and I certainly believed in hell. I was very religious. I make a point of this because I did not have the usual NDE, which is unusual when you consider my background.

In 1965, I was working in a drive-in restaurant in Renton. I now had 4 children and my husband was a lineman for the power co. I had developed varicose veins which ran in my family. I was a deaconess and a Sunday school teacher in my church and my life revolved around my family, my church and my home. I bowled twice a week. I begin to have trouble bowling because after 2 lines of bowling my left leg would give out and I could not stand on it. I went to my doctor and he recommended I see a surgeon to see if I could have the veins stripped in my left leg. I went to see the surgeon and we decided to operate on my left leg and strip the veins. It was elective surgery and I would be in the hospital only 3 days.

I went to the hospital and was operated on . The next day I got up and walked around. The only thing that was unusual was that twice I found myself on the floor with no memory of how I got there. On the third day, I went home. I was feeling fine. The next day I went over to my neighbour, Pearl, for a cup of tea. We were sitting there and suddenly I felt strange. I told Pearl that I would go home and lie down for awhile. She said she would walk with me. I told her no, that I was all right and that I would see her later. It was about 3:00 P.M.

I walked across the street and up a short embankment and to the middle of the carport. Suddenly I was floating above my body which was laying on the carport. I had no sense of movement and I was not afraid. I was fully conscious. I looked down and wondered why my body was laying on the ground and I was in the air. I thought it was interesting how my body looked. I had never seen my body from this view before.

The neighbour across the street saw me fall and she come running over calling to Pearl. She and Pearl picked up my body, carried it into the house, and put it down on the bed. I floated along with them. My bed had a bookcase headboard on it. I perched upon it and watch them try to resuscitate my body without any success. My 4 children were standing at the end of the bed watching them. Pearl told my daughter to call 911. She went into the living room and called them. My body voided all wastes and they were trying to clean it up. They removed all the clothing except for a t-shirt. The ambulance came and two attendants came in and put my body on a stretcher and carried it out to the ambulance. They told Pearl to get in and she told them that I had just came home from the hospital the day before. Shirley, the other neighbour said she would tell Bill, my husband to meet us at the hospital. As they placed my body in the ambulance, I floated along with it. I was not attached to it in any way that I could determine. I just thought everything was so interesting.

The driver turned on the siren and we started for the hospital. The attendant began trying to revive my body. Pearl was telling him what had happened and he was trying to find a pulse. He put an oxygen mask over my body's mouth and applied electric shocks to the chest 3 times, each time taking a pulse. Half way to the hospital, he stopped and told the driver to turn off the siren. I was dead. The driver did and Pearl started crying.

I turned around and was immersed in light. I was completely one with love, unconditional love. I knew I was complete at last. Never had I felt such safety and love before. Suddenly, I had all knowledge. Love surrounded me and accepted me completely. All that I had ever heard or known was swept away and I knew all knowledge. I knew that Christ had not died on the cross and that there is no sin or evil. I knew that I had existed since the moment of creation and that I shall always exist and that all consciousness is in the act of becoming. I knew that I had lived 900 times in physical reality and I watched those expressions and observed each of them. I experienced what we mean when we say that we have free will and that we choose everything. There are no absolutes.

I watched every thought I had ever chosen to its natural end. I watched each being it touched. I knew that I was a speaker and I had always been a speaker and that I carried information between entities and their expressions. I was in physical reality because it is time for the physical being to mature and accept their responsibility for their creation and to realize that they create their reality. I knew then that I must return because my role was not finished yet. I also knew that I would die in 2010 and I would drown in my own body fluids. I would create my own death as I had chosen it. I turned around and I was in the hospital emergency room.

In the room was Bill, Pearl, 2 ambulance attendants, 2 policemen, a doctor yelling at Bill, and a nurse standing at the head of the table on which my body was laying, covered with a sheet. The doctor was telling Bill that I had died from extreme malnutrition. He was yelling that women kill themselves trying to be thin. Bill was trying to tell him that he had just taken me home the day before and it was impossible for me to have died from extreme malnutrition. I floated over to my body and sank down into it.

I want to tell you what it felt like when I entered my body. I have never felt such joy. I was enthralled with this wondrous body I had created. I could feel the consciousness of each cell in my body. I could feel the joy of the blood as it rushed through the veins and the sharing of the creation of new life as each cell sang its energy. I truly knew what the phrase "I sang the body electric" meant. I was so captivated by this wondrous creation which all of me had created and the loving cooperation that existed between all the cells that had joined together to create this marvellous body called Patsy.

I joined in this song of life and thanked each of them and praised them. I could feet the energy as it travelled through my nerve paths to its destination. How alive and vital this body was. What a marvellous creation it was and how well it worked together in perfect synchronization in its exuberant celebration of life. As long as I wear this body, I will never forget what I had experienced in that moment.

My body begin to shake and the sheet fell to the floor. The nurse screamed. The doctor ran to the table and slapped her. I sat up and tried to get off the table. I wanted to dance and sing for the sheer joy of being alive. He pushed me down on the table and told her to get him a shot. I was struggling to get up and suddenly I realized I knew what everybody was thinking and they were all terrified. I calmed down and laid still. I told the doctor that I was all right and I didn't need a shot. He was terrified to even touch me. The nurse did not want to approach the table again.

Everyone in the room were frozen in place. Their brains could not process what their eyes were observing. I became aware that I was ravenous and I needed food. I told the doctor that I needed food. He told the nurse to send for an orderly to take me up to a room. He then told Bill to go with me. Then he went over to the desk and begin to fill out papers. I could see that he could not think about what had just happened and he was afraid of me.

The orderly came and Bill and I and him went to the elevator. I was chattering away with the orderly and Bill was staying as far away from me as possible. I knew in some way I had to help Bill because he had to go home and tell the kids what happened. I told Bill that I was all right and I wanted him to go home and tell the kids that I would be home tomorrow. He never said a word. He just leaned over and kissed me and took the elevator back down.

The orderly said to the floor nurse that all of them in the emergency room acted like they had just seen a ghost. She asked me if I had seen a ghost and I said no but I was starving and could she please get me something to eat and drink. She said the kitchen was closed because it was about10:00 p.m., but she would see what she could find for me. She put me in a ward with 2 other women and told me to be quiet. She left the room and I woke them up and told them we were going to have a party. I was singing and telling jokes and dancing around the room when she came back. She told me to get back in bed and eat and be quiet or she would have to strap me down. So I did.

The women went back to sleep and I laid awake all night. I read every mind in the hospital and wandered through everyone's dreams. To the ones who were dying, I help them to leave and explained to them where they were going. To the babies who had just entered this reality, I had long conversations and they told me why they had chosen to come and why they had chosen their parents. To those who were frightened and suffering, I helped them to see that they really chose the suffering and they had to choose not to suffer  because it was not necessary.

The next morning, a neurologist came in and asked me a lot of questions. He poked me with a needle. I read his mind and told him what he wanted to hear. He left thinking he had been right, that I had just had a emotional event that was caused by stress and he would recommend bed rest. I had planted these suggestions in his mind. That afternoon Dr. Zeck, my surgeon came in and sat down and asked me what happened. I read his mind and knew that he knew I had died. I told him he would not believe me.

He said, 'Yes, I would, I have to go before a board of my peers and tell them what happened and why I released you to go home. I am a surgeon and everyday I face my enemy, death, across my operating table and the more I can understand about him, the better I am able to help my patients. I have had 500 patients experience death and live to tell about it and I'm not moving until you tell me what happened."

So I told him.

He told me that my file would be placed with the others and destroyed upon his death. I asked him what I should do and he said, "I don't know. Your life will completely change and I don't know how to tell you to live it."   Where are the others who experienced this?

He told me he could not tell me. He told me not to tell anyone what had happened or they would put me away. I told him I could read his mind and he said yes that he knew that. He said that in time I would lose this ability but at first it would help me to adjust to my new awareness. He told me that I had been officially dead for 1 hour and he said he thought it was more than several hours. I went home that day. I never seen him again.

He was right. My world had turned upside down. I went to church the next Sunday and couldn't even sit through the service. I wanted to stand up and tell everyone that this was all wrong and how wonderful they were. The ability to read minds stayed with me for almost a month and then slowly faded into the background. I now use it in my role as a speaker. I begin a search for others like me. I explored the psychic community and found that they, too, taught that people were victims and powerless.

If you constantly seek your answers outside yourself, You will never find wisdom. You already have all the answers, so you always must look within.

In 1974, I was told by a palm reader to go to Lacey, WA. to a certain house and I would find my voice. I went and when I arrived, I knocked on the door and a young man opened the door. He told me to come in and that "Gene" would be back in a few minutes. 15 minutes later Gene entered and I recognized him. He had been my tutor when I was in Atlantis and had used his students to gain advantage over his enemies. He said, "I have been waiting for you. He took me down to the basement to his library and gave me the book SETH SPEAKS. He told me this would give me the language I needed for my work. I went home and read it and it was exactly what I had learned in the light. Gene died two years later from a brain tumour. For two years he helped me to prepare myself for my role as a speaker

I have all of the Seth books and I have searched for other Sethians since that time. A year ago I found the Sethworks and I have been active on it since. I am now writing a book about my role as a speaker and my life. In the years since I have lived the principles I learned in the light. Many events have happened to me and they will be in the book.

You see, I have not had the usual NDE. I went to the NDE society here in Seattle and told my story and they asked me not to return because I had said that I knew Christ did not die on the cross, at least in this probability. I also did not go through a tunnel or see anyone. I was fully conscious during the whole time. In fact, I did not sleep for a week after the event.

I only sleep 4 hours a day now which is the usual for me. I have never slept more than five hours at a time. I have no fear of death or anything. I live in the moment. I am in excellent health and create what I want. I do not use drugs, alcohol or have insurance. I have never met a stranger and I don't know what the word shy means. I have never been homesick and I am at home wherever I am. My life has been a grand adventure. I stand between two worlds and I move easily between them.

About the Author

Patsy Davis was born in Anthony, Ks. on April 30, 1931, the fourth child of three boys and three girls.  In 8th grade she was the only  8th grade student in a one room Schoolhouse. There she received a year's outline of material and completed all the  reading and assignments. By the end of that year, she made the highest exam grade in the county and became valedictorian of the county. Patsy then attended the local high school for the freshman and sophomore years, but her father told her to leave home. So she went to  live with her sister's family and worked in their restaurant for room and board to complete her Junior year. She was unable to finish her Senior year due to the expense of tuition.  Then in 1965, Patsy had an NDE.

By1972, with determination, Patsy completed high school and graduated in the same class with her oldest daughter, who married and blessed her with the first grandchild.  And by 1974 Patsy received her AA in college. 

In 1998, she and her husband celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.  At present Patsy has 4 children and 9 grand-children. Patsy states, "My life has been a grand adventure and I wouldn't change a single event because this is my expression and I am a Speaker."               

E-mail Patsy at