There are no accidents - what does it mean? 

 

 

You may have read or heard the expression "there are no accidents", implying that everything that happens to us is meant to be. I present an idea of what this can mean. See how this explanation feels to you.  

Most of us are aware we have a choice in every moment, about everything.

When deciding on any action or non-action in our lives, we have two choices:

1. We can choose to follow our intuition-heart-spirit-inner knowing-gut feeling of rightness. This route could be called the most optimum way to experience life giving us the least hassle and struggle and the gentlest learning and growth.

2. We can also make a choice by 'thinking' something out or letting our ego decide. An ego based decision is made from what we think of ourselves or what we think others will think of us. Choosing via the head or the ego could be seen as the least desirable path for us to follow, as it involves a great deal of learning and additional trauma for us.

An example: We are asked to a friend's place for dinner to celebrate their birthday.

Our initial feeling is of not wanting to go. Perhaps we had something planned for that night that we are excited about. Perhaps we had nothing planned, but we still don't want to go to. By the way, we don't need to know 'why' we don't want to go. Our inner voice is our guide. It shows us how to stay in the most optimum flow of Divine order. Everyone has an inner voice (you aren't an exception). This is quite clear if we care to listen.

Until we get used to tuning in and listening to our inner voice, it is wise to check whether it is truly our inner voice we are hearing, or our emotions or ego responding. The mind or ego can jump in, e.g. you may have had an argument with someone who will be going to that dinner or maybe an old flame will be there who you don't want to see - and you react by thinking 'I don't want to go'.  

We need to feel the difference between responding from an intuitive place of the heart or responding from emotion or thought. The intuitive route will be gentler, easier and will flow better. The emotional or thought route is not ideal for us. So, it's worth getting this right. Emotions and thoughts are totally fine and can help us in our life, but there's a way to use them. The best way for us to live is to use intuition (or spirit) as the main guiding force in our life. This means trusting our gut feeling will lead us to the most beneficial route. We can use our mind and emotions as a back up.

Emotions can confuse us. To be certain you make the right decision, put your emotions aside. Understanding the difference between intuition and emotions isn't difficult, it just takes some practise and honesty.

If you feel an emotion come up, just acknowledge its presence. Say to yourself:

'I'm feeling fear (embarrassment, worry, sadness, anger or whatever.) I'll now put that feeling aside for the moment so I'm not governed by that fear when making my decision.' Then put the fear aside (and any other emotion or thought that pops up). Then check again with yourself, 'Does it feel right for me to go to this dinner or not?' Listen to the real you.

After putting aside the ego/emotions, you may see that it still feels right not to go to the dinner. Fine. Maybe this invitation is just the universe giving you a chance to see that you have emotions or buried pain that needs releasing and you were never meant to actually go to the dinner. (An easy method of releasing our reactions is in the article 'The Greatest gift of Love' on website listed at end of this article.)

But don't fool yourself. Make sure the emotions have truly been put aside, i.e. that you are not afraid to go to the dinner. Because ultimately we are creators, it's quite easy for us to incorrectly convince ourselves that there are no emotions still left affecting our decision. That sort of thinking doesn't help you at all. We grow wiser through our learning and the way we learn is to be very honest with ourselves. Don't convince yourself that you have put your emotions aside - i.e. that you feel OK about seeing your old partner again at the dinner and that is not having any affect on your decision not to go. By not being honest with yourself, the only loser then will be you (oh yes, and the rest of the universe!)

It's a good idea to spend that extra couple of minutes getting it right. It could save you a great deal of hassle. And remember that decisions you make affect other people. In addition, it can also be karmic. Is it hard to define just how far reaching our decisions can affect others as it extends out into the whole universe, because ultimately we are all connected.

Using the dinner party example, let us assume you were not really meant to go but you went anyway. That decision could affect everyone present at the dinner party plus the people connected to them (family, friends) and so on. Here's an example in case that sounds far fetched. Maybe someone who was meant to be going hears that you are going and decides not to go because of it (that alone can have thousands of repercussions). Or maybe your old flame brings his new girlfriend and she sees you there, gets jealous, has a fight with him, storms out and they split up (no, you are not supposed to say 'good!') - when actually they were meant to stay together!  Then there are all the people involved in whatever and wherever it was that you were really meant to be at that time (regardless of whether you know what that was or not). More thousands of repercussions - or even many millions! And that would include any people you met as you travelled there or on your way home..... and so it goes on.

So, you have a choice in every moment.

Let's say that you end up with a clear understanding that it doesn't feel right for you to go to this dinner. But as the days go by, you think about it and you let your thoughts or emotions get in the way, e.g. 'my friend will be really upset with me if I don't go;' 'maybe I can just go for an hour or two'; 'if I dress up maybe my ex will see me looking wonderful and will want to get back with me' etc, etc.  So, you listen to the mind and you make a new choice. You decide to go.

You have been clearly shown by the universe that this dinner is not where you can best serve yourself or anyone else, but you fail to trust this clear signal and decide to listen to your own or other people's thoughts and emotions - and you decide to go.  As the night arrives, it's quite likely that things will not go smoothly because you are stepping out of the flow, so neither the flow (or the force!) is really with you. Your dress may have a stain, you have an argument with your parents, a friend who borrowed your car gets it back to you late, etc.  This can also be the universe trying to stop you, to get you to change your mind and step fully into the flow.

Now the question arises - if you have a car accident on the way to this dinner, is it accidental or are there no such thing as accidents.

You made a choice to go to the dinner; you chose which route to take and what time to leave to get there. You made many choices that ultimately put you in that space on the road at that time. So, is there any way this can be seen as an 'accident'? I think we can agree there's not.

In addition, there may be other choices you made, such as not to have the car serviced, not checking the tyre pressure, driving too fast on a wet road, hurrying because you are late, having your attention on how hungry you are, changing CD's, thinking about a problem at work, looking at the attractive guy/girl in the next car - oh! the choices are endless.

We make choices and they have consequences. If we choose to be in a specific place and something happens to us when we are there, then it's not an accident. As we choose everything, there can be no accidents.

In this instance, we made a choice that was not in our best interest and we had a car accident. But having said that, it still wouldn't have happened to us unless there was something we could learn from it. The lesson may be simply to teach us to trust our intuition next time. And more can be gained from it. You can decide it is a positive experience (incidentally, everything is!). You can be cheerful and not moan about it; you could gain more patience and compassion by being a patient in hospital (or learn how to sleep through loud noises!); maybe you can't work for a couple of weeks and so discover a new and profitable hobby. Everything that happens to us can be looked at in a positive way. The key is our attitude to it. And our attitude is also a matter of choice.

Well, what if we acted intuitively; we had followed 'the flow' and driven down a road at a certain time because it felt right - and we still have a car accident? Is there any difference? Is this one fate?

I think as we made choices in both cases, we have to stick to 'there is no such thing as an accident.' But there may be a difference. If we had a car accident even though we followed our intuitive feelings - it would seem we planned it to happen. We had, for some reason on a higher level, chosen this for our greater growth and learning. Even though it seems unimaginable that we would actually choose such a thing, it's a fact that we often choose even more uncomfortable things than this. The possible reasons you could have attracted/arranged this accident are too many to guess at. It could be karmic. You could be choosing to balance out the energy after having caused something similar to others in the past. You could be working on gaining spiritual qualities such as being willing to receive help or learning more patience and compassion for others in pain and suffering. It could be an agreement you made with your parents or partner or children to help them balance out their karma by helping you; it could even be the way you chose to meet someone who was involved (although there would probably be other reasons as well) - and hundreds of other possibilities.

Remember that some things are chosen by us prior to entering the incarnation. We generally choose our key family members, often our major life partner(s), children and key events in our life. The reason for choosing some things before we get here is because we wish to work on enhancing particular spiritual qualities or learning specific things - and we don't want to waste the lifetime by leaving our really important goals up to chance. These usually need planning and they involve other people. Agreements have to be made as to how it will all unfold throughout our life and many people have to incarnate at the right time to match the age/location requirements, so they can be a part of each others lives. It is rarely possible to plan out an incarnation without some other people being involved.

In the planning that takes place, you each look at the lessons and abilities you personally wish to increase. You then fit all the timing and scenarios together so each of you has the opportunity to gain your own goals. For instance, someone could look over their last couple of lifetimes and see that whenever anything got too tough, they did a runner. So, one of the goals of the incarnation they are now planning is to learn how to stay through tough times and grow stronger. So they arrange to marry a certain person, have two children together and little money. The plan is that when the children are still very small, the partner is to leave them with no money. The person planning the incarnation feels that having the responsibility of two young children will help them stick it out and assist them to gain the ability they are seeking. Both sets of grandparents agree not to step in and help, so the goal can be attained. Every family member involved, including the children, agree to this.

So, that is one example of a possible pre-planned part of your life. Most of us find it hard to imagine that we could plan such apparently unhappy things in our lives - but it's the human part of us that can't understand. As spiritual beings, we are interested in acquiring greater wisdom, trust, growth, integrity, awareness, compassion, tolerance, joy and love.

So in summation, there are no accidents.

But there may be a difference in things that happen to us from decisions we made from our 'thinking or 'ego' and those we made intuitively. It seems likely that those made from 'thinking' or 'ego' could have been prevented if we had chosen intuitively instead.

This concept is not easy to write, so I hope it makes sense! The divine universal process is perfect. Actually nothing happens that does not have a purpose, anywhere, anyhow. So, even those things that happen to us when we make decisions from our ego or emotions (that we think were 'not meant' to happen) are also part of Divine order. For our greater good, maybe we needed a reminder to help teach us what can happen if we move out of the flow and don't follow our intuition. Maybe the sole reason for the accident is as simple as that, to teach us to trust our intuition more in future. If we hadn't needed it, it wouldn't have happened. Other things will have happened in our life trying to show us the same lesson, prior to having the accident. Lessons always begin gently, gradually increasing in intensity if we don't get it. And each time we are shown it is better to trust, we are one step closer to living life fully in the flow in the now.

So, it is all perfect - and meant to be - and there are no such things as accidents.

How wonderful that we have this great opportunity while we are incarnated to grow in wisdom and move ever closer to our goal of unconditional love for all life. Let gratitude for our beautiful gift of life bring us all joy and contentment.

Sandy Stevenson  

  March 2007