The importance of staying real to others


We’ve probably all done it! After discovering the amazing world of spirituality, we’re so excited we want to tell everyone! The slightest hint of any spiritual understanding from friends or family is enough to encourage us to launch forth with great enthusiasm and lots of information, assuming they’re going to instantly have the same wonderful recognition and realization we had. But instead, they reject our wonderful life changing information and we come down to earth with a thud. We realise we went way ‘over the top.’ Well, actually we don’t usually realise that straight away. Instead, we’re generally shocked and can’t believe they didn’t get it!! What’s the matter with them?? Well, maybe there’s nothing wrong! Maybe we just went way off what is real for them. And we learn pretty fast what they now think about us, which is generally along the lines that we’ve gone completely loopy.


It seems common to incorrectly assume that because someone mentions a spiritual concept, they must be ready for the lot. Many times over the years, lightworkers have said to me that when someone expressed a thought such as ‘maybe there’s such a thing as past lives’ - they gave them The Awakener (my book) to read. Back in the 90’s when I first started hearing this, I’d wonder how someone couldn’t see that giving a book that talks of way out concepts like Ascended Masters, Lightworker contracts and the Ascension of Earth, would in any way be appropriate for someone just touching on the possibility of past lives. Eventually, I realised the reason was a lack of understanding the concept that we each hold a different ‘reality’ - which is the subject of this article. Of course, there’s also the possibility that you knew intuitively that book was the right action for that individual. However from my observation, that’s been rare.


This is something we need to really take on board - the fact is that everyone has a different reality on just about every subject in existence and we need to be aware of that. We need to be present in each moment so we are really aware of the person in front of us and where they’re at in their understanding of life. This of course applies to all subjects of communication. It’s very easy to get carried away when discussing our own field of expertise or anything we’re passionate about. It’s good to remember that what can seem obvious and simple to us, can be like a foreign language to others. That is why the very best teachers are those who are able to assess the level of understanding of the person they’re teaching and explain complicated areas very simply and slowly, making sure each point is grasped before moving on. What a blessing that is. How often have we experienced these bright young kids whizzing through technical instructions of how to work computers or mobile phone settings, assuming everyone is as familiar with new technology as they are.


I’ve observed many instances over the years where the enthusiasm of a Lightworker to pass on their spiritual knowledge has caused upsets, lost friends and alienated family members. And it can also cause karma. When we’re not being intuitive and we communicate material to someone that is way off their acceptable reality, it can cause them to back off all things spiritual which can create karma for us. For most people, their mind instantly rejects anything that doesn’t fit their current framework of reality. Sometimes, after they’ve had time to ponder on it, they can start to see it as a possibility. Unfortunately, karma is created regardless of our good intentions. If our action causes someone an ill effect, then that can create an imbalance of energy in our own field. This is what we are correcting when we balance out our karma.


If we’re being intuitive, we know what to say, when to say it, how much to say, in what way and when to stop. The universe leads us in the flow of divine order when we surrender to it. But many of us aren’t yet totally in that place of trusting ourselves to fully surrender to Divine Order. If that’s the case, then we need to take other steps to find out where someone’s reality is. We can do this by approaching any spiritual subject on the gentlest of gradients. In this way, we can go gently, assessing bit by bit, testing as we go, finding out where they are and what they can accept. I wrote the book ‘All That is Love’ for exactly that reason. It was to open a gentle path to spirituality within a story, for those not yet consciously aware of the spiritual path.


Sometimes we’re so sure of our own truth we can justify to ourselves that it’s OK to pass our information on to others as we figure that because its truth, it will help them. But, whether we’ve realised it yet or not, there are many levels of truth. Truth is subjective and we also find it changes because we increase our ability to reach higher concepts in the universe.


Example of gentle gradients

Situation. Someone mentions to you they often feel depressed. You’ve noticed they wear black a lot.

A possible response. Aside from perhaps recommending something like the correct Bach Flower to help their particular type of depression, you feel they’d benefit from getting some colour into their aura. As we know, most people these days accept small stuff they know a bit about (colour, star signs, etc). So, you could perhaps casually say - “I read an article that said colour can help with things like depression. Apparently, some mental health hospitals paint patient’s rooms in different colours, depending on the patient’s needs. But aside from choosing wall colours, we can also wear clothes in the rights colours. I think we’re drawn to the right colours we need. So when we go to our wardrobe, instead of picking something for its practicality, we could choose one that just feels good. They reckon pink is a sort of soft nurturing loving colour so it’s good when we aren’t feeling loved or we aren’t feeling very loving ourselves. If you think about it, I guess soft shades of pink do feel soft and feminine. They say that green gives us a feeling of well being and a sense of space, similar to walking in nature with all its green foliage. You know about sun signs? Well, they say Sagittarians can actually get sick if they’re forced to stay indoors for too long. It seems they have to be able to get out into nature to stay well, so I guess wearing green would help then. I’ve also read that students can benefit from having a yellow desk lamp when they’re studying as it increases mind alertness. Orange is supposed to be good if we feel depressed. And although we can’t see all the colours in white, apparently it contains lots of colours. So, perhaps just wearing a lot of white could help depression. It’s worth a try. But they say you should only wear a colour until you feel better, as it’s possible to get too much of one colour. Apparently, wearing red gives us extra energy but if we wear it for too long, we can get angry. What do you think?”


If you don’t trust intuitively what to say in the moment, then this is an ideal way to handle it. You are approaching someone with simple information on a gentle gradient. Most people would be interested in what you’ve said and it’s not too much information for them. It could be very helpful for them. You’ve also referred to the information as being from a 3rd party, something you heard. This can be a more acceptable source to other people’s reality. Also, if they reject it, then they’re not rejecting you and you get the chance ‘live to help another day.’ Of course, you’d need to express your own truth of how you heard that information. Perhaps you ‘read it (which you just did!) or ‘you heard someone say it’. It happened that I saw it in a report published by a psychiatric hospital.



There’s another point about staying real I mentioned in a recent article ‘We are everything.’ I’d like to repeat it here as it concerns staying real to others. We all feel different than 20 years ago, but it’s important not to express our individuality at the expense of the overall picture and what’s needed to get the job done. Some lightworkers change their names. While our friends generally have no problem with it, it can make us a bit unreal to people we’re meant to interact with and teach. We’ve all had a problem sometimes with remembering or correctly pronouncing foreign names. So, sometimes changing our name to something unusual such as some I’ve seen - Moon Dance, Bliss Daydream, Bodhi Arcadia, Altara An Ra, Omaja, Ganeve, Dvita, Micah, Arel, Ekamkar or Afriel, can present a similar difficulty.


The easiest thing we can do is to be as intuitive as possible about all aspects of our life. That’s not as difficult as we may think. We’re really good at ignoring our instinctive gut knowing by doubting ourselves or our ability to tune into the universe. If we can learn to trust our deep inner knowing, life moves into a flow of ease and grace. Stress can cause actual physical illness, so it’s a good idea to stay as stress free as possible. One way to strengthen our intuition is to acknowledge every time we get something right. Example. One morning, you have a thought about a particular friend. In fact you’ve got something to give that friend but have been so busy you haven’t done it.  Later that day you’re out shopping and you run into that friend! If you’d trusted your feeling you could have taken her parcel with you when you went out. Quietly acknowledge to yourself that you intuitively picked up on your meeting. Example. You’ve got something cooking in the kitchen. You’re upstairs and have a thought about the food cooking downstairs. But your ‘head’ tells you the recipe says it needs 10 more minutes to cook. You’re busy putting away the ironing and want to finish it, so you override your intuition. You finish the job and then go downstairs to discover the food is overcooked. Acknowledge to yourself you intuitively knew to check the food. Example. You’re going to an appointment and get a feeling to drive the back route to your destination. But your head says you need to get there quickly and it will be faster to use the expressway. You get on the expressway but a couple of miles along there’s been an accident and you end sitting in traffic for an hour while the accident is sorted. Acknowledge to yourself you intuitively knew to go the other route. Example. You’re told about a great business opportunity to make quick money. On the surface it sounds fool proof, but a knowing inside tells you something’s not right. But you really need money and you want this to be a solution. So, you ignore your inner voice and override your intuition. The plan fails and you lose money. Acknowledge to yourself you intuitively knew the right action to take. There are countless examples we could address. By continually acknowledging to yourself every time you realised something intuitively and then it happened, you’ll strengthen your own confidence in this area. It’s not the ability you need to strengthen as you already have that. It is your self trust that needs strengthening.


Every day we receive indications of how to live in a way that allow us grace and ease - if only we would listen! When we listen to our inner voice, we intuitively know the how, when, where and why. Then we can communicate to people in a way they can understand.


The new Microsoft Windows 10 was released at the end of July. I was in a local computer shop and overheard a salesperson showing a laptop to a potential customer. He was saying the laptop had Windows 8.1 on it with a free upgrade to Windows10. The salesperson was very enthusiastic about 10’s new capabilities and in his enthusiasm and technical know-how; he lost sight of the customer in front of him. I saw the person become more and more confused and in the end he  walked away. No sale. I went over to that customer in another part of the store and mentioned how confusing all this new technology is - to which they agreed wholeheartedly. I told him there was a great book out called 'Windows 10 for Dummies' which laid it all out very simply for us. I stayed in conversation with them until they regained their confidence to tackle a new computer.


All we need to do is see where someone’s reality is and speak to them at that level. That is also what we also want for ourselves.  Do unto others as we would be done by. We’ve all experienced glazing over or being totally overwhelmed when being told things beyond our grasp, when someone failed to notice we’re not interested or aren’t able to grasp the intricate or complicated details they are telling us.


Whatever our field, being in the flow allows us to know how to address an individual, an animal, a situation, a group, readers, patients, family, children, teenagers or friends.


It’s a wonderful way to help. In fact, it’s the only way to help.


Light Blessings,


Sandy Stevenson