17th August

I’m not surprised it comes across as a need – cause it damn well is. But the true need is simply the expression of love between two good friends - to share and enjoy and interact, as we’ve always done in the past. And the frustration and often disbelief that it’s prevented from happening creates a longing in me for it to be the way it should. Along with knowing it’s just so normal for us, so why the heck isn’t it happening?

And of course I know why it isn’t happening - I remember and you don’t. So you don’t have quite the same understanding of the relationship with its depth and closeness of the best friends that ever were! And the other why is the major factor with the current situation of all that’s involved in you restoring yourself to that fully confident old buddy who used to sit with me as we talked through the steps we’d take to fix the world, single handedly – well, the combination of the two of us. See, we were full of it - oops I mean dreams - even then.  It’s not having that still - that’s the source of the longing. And the source of that is love. I’ve always understood the basis of it is to simply be as it was - getting together for a chat and a hug - and that being prevented has created a neediness - but not the sort usually experienced by people – where it generally contains expectations (I have none, in any way, on any level) and some idea of long term attachment (also none whatever). Yes, I have pain to handle (longing pain) and that is OK - I will do that – but it’s not about me - if this situation is not serving either of us or is creating anything detrimental or any feeling in you that you have to respond or handle it, then I have the ability to walk away. A need is only ever created in this time and place and can be uncreated if it is deemed highest good to do so. It hasn’t seemed to me, so far, that is, in any way, a right action – for either of us. But I can, if it’s a hassle for you. I think you are aware, I can step free. Not what I want, obviously. I adore you. We’ve given each other so much, shared so much, been there in times of peace and battle, saved each others lives, reached the deepest of places in talking through our problems and situations, put our heads together and resolved situations on planets unknown – and through it all has been steady, irreplaceable love. And there is love present now. Once love truly touches us it lasts forever.

And a soft dawn rises, just as it is on your new life.

OK, that's enough serious stuff. I'm on my hands and knees looking for where the heck I put the salt cellars!

UL  AU 888

 

It’s wonderful you’ve recognised the possible meaning of excitement you experienced in meeting the Indian guy. You’ve expressed excitement often - when telling me of other instances where you’ve met people – people you’ve known before – and times of making connections of links between people. It is mastery that you find key things out for yourself and the releasing now of all that’s held you back in the past, is now allowing the unfolding of realizations, knowing and an understanding of who you are. There will be much more. My heart is joyful. You see why I included info about mathematical coding and you've been able to see the power of it – in your own crystal programme (currently 98%) and the boy’s castles.

You planned it for this time. You made agreements with the higher realms and they have fulfilled those agreements, but I think perhaps, in this instance, they’ve gone the extra mile – ‘cause your worth it’ (just like the TV Loreal advert). I think so too – and I hope I have also gone the extra mile (no, not meaning - bunny from Mildura stuff). Ha  And no I hadn't heard about the S!! you on Tuesday thing. Must tell Shel that one!

 

I truly, truly know what a relief it is for you have the café route redirected – and for me as well because it helps you. It’s possible I may realise more what that does for you.

Seeing you come into your own is what I’ve wanted from the beginning and been determined to do all that felt right to make sure that happened - and not just cause I knew you’d get me later ‘up there’ if I didn’t! Ha. I wanted it for my friend. Recently discovering consciously the full extent of what you’d suffered from that last incarnation reached me deeply and hurt. Told you I don’t like you to suffer! I got past it by focusing on the joy that it was now being handled and how happy you’d be once that was out of the way and you could just be yourself. Now I see you taking off as all that power begins to rise to the surface and you step free into mastery. And in amongst my joy, I admit to a tinge of sadness (just silly 3D stuff) now in my heart in the recognition you are moving on – resuming the flight interrupted last lifetime - as it should be – and is right –and what I’ve so strongly worked towards - but the human part of me feels a depth of loss words could not explain. Just something else to be released. There’s always something being offered by a universe that continually presents us with opportunities to go beyond. And all that really matters is you - that you can do your work and live your life and experience all you desire.

Need – want -  love – long for - enjoy – desire –  a HUG  - and, in truth, possibly won't last much longer without sorting out that need – want -  love – long for - enjoy – desire. And so be it. Tra la

UL   

Sorry angel, I have no idea what your email message means??? Is it in any way connected to me popping back just to check my credit wallet hadn’t fallen out of my handbag under my seat? I’d noticed in Coles it was missing. Pretty good chance it had fallen out in my car as I’d slung my bag on back seat, but I wanted to quickly check under the chair I had been on, just in case I got to the car and it wasn’t there. It was there, sitting on back seat – as it was on back seat, I hadn’t noticed it had fallen out. All good.

 

Something you said about me being needy - hit home. I don’t want to be there. It’s not a look I want or usually have. And it is the last thing you need, as well. So, I guess its time I took responsibility for my creating this gnawing feeling that’s symptomatic of a longing (attachment). I’m sure you’ll be relieved to hear that! Long overdue, eh! If it only affected me personally, I’d probably go on trying to integrate and balance it (the optimum solution) so that it goes into a higher vibration than its current tangible sensation of something missing. But I work on many levels and I’ve seen many times if I allow my focus to go into physical or emotional things, it affects my multi dimensional work.

I‘d thought to try and integrate it into higher dimensions when you were here next. Not sure it would work though. I deliberately didn’t try it before when you were here because I didn’t want you to experience that sort of merging, prior to you releasing anything preventing you being fully in your own mastery (as it’s a sort of imposed on you experience).

I understand and it’s clear and right – you need to talk with ... before being willing to ask if it’s OK to see me. And I guess in your own time you’ll have that talk about your future – and once it’s done, there’d be no asking or need to say where you were going. I most definitely don’t want to give the idea there’s any urgency coming from me, for you to do that or even to take that path. I know you’re still re-adjusting to a whole new way of life and after handling things a certain way, it will take time to feel how else things can be done. And that will need time to learn and will be exciting as other ways to do things present themselves. I’m an old pro at this 3D stuff. Been doing it for a very long time. I found out on the Saturday that my husband had affair. As soon as court offices opened on Monday morning I drove to Tunbridge Wells court, picked up divorce papers over the counter, sat down and filled them in and filed it then and there. Couple of hours - done and dusted. But I wasn’t overcoming anything like you had last lifetime or this none!!! It can’t be easy at all and you really need to go at your own pace. That’s really important. So, it’s about time I got my act together and fixed me and my path, instead of boring you with’ where’s my hug’. Like a totally boring record – just like the guy putting people to sleep! Ho, hum.

I’d like to think it’s a choice I’m making, but it’s not. Has to happen. I really need to get myself out of any attachment to this plane or to feelings and sensations I’ve created– so as to make sure I do my work in the best way I can, and be the best me I can. My divine work and agreements are my priority. I know now it was silly  of me to let go the extent I did but it was just so nice to feel ‘us’ once again, I was so loving it and wanted to move further into the fullness of our comfortable friendship. I do know better than to let a past connection filter so much into my current life, but figured I could handle it fine. So much for that brilliant idea! It was fine up to then and I had stayed in a nice balanced space of being able to stay or go (from earth). But once released to that extent, it naturally brings other stuff to the surface that wasn’t there as a problem before. We all have millions of things still from our past but unless they contain real dense energy and therefore need triggering so as to be released; they just stay there not affecting us. We’d need a million lifetimes if we had to handle everything!

I’m going to the market tomorrow and in the arvo I’ll to devote a few hours to integrating all I need to do to handle this once and for all - or if I cant do that - I’ll wipe it off the face of the Earth and out of my world. With luck it takes out the need and leaves the beauty of the immense love and wonder of the hugs and the interplay (got to have that!) – but puts me back in balance to do my work properly (until I go) and is also required for ascending out of here. I’ll also have a look at why I can’t handle seeing you in pain…. just in case you use pain as a tactic to find out what life’s like on the inside!! Just joking. We all know there’s lots of young girls around to sleep with. Hope they have experience with long slow touching! Hate to think you missed out. Ha

Loving you heaps.

Emails current and updated on Page 2.

 

 SEQUENCE ON PAGE 2

1.  PAGE MESSAGES (ends with picture that says ‘The Universe has my back’.

2.  TEXT MESSAGES  Starts with large blue picture that says ‘Skywalker In many spaces …etc.

3.  EMAIL MESSAGES  Starts with large gold infinity symbol – and goes to the end of the page. So, to quickly get to your emails, just go to bottom of page 2 and then scroll upwards.

 

I was just thinking how excited I’d have been if you’d phoned and said - I’m on my way over for 10 mins. Meet me in the car park. Oh god that would have been lovely.  Actually our guest car park is often full up at night so the surf car park is good (the one at the traffic lights) – its dark and no-one can see inside cars. Sounds very clandestine! But remember you’re splitting up - AND it’s only a hug, for heavens sake. We aren’t climbing into the back seat! No fingers doing the walkin! I can walk to car park in 2 mins from home – easy peasy. Just saying.

Thank you for all the sharing. I love hearing about your life and feelings. I care about every part of you and love that you feel OK to tell me intimate stuff. It helps me understand you and how you cope with it all. I think you really do know now that unconditional love allows for all things, without judgement.

Remember next time you think I'm being serious - re-read it with the idea I was laughing as I wrote it. I'm never taking away, lessening or denying anything to you. Hmmm, that statement was a bit unlimited! You know what I mean.

You won’t have spotted it but I actually recently included what AU meant. 

May the electricity continue to flow between us, but I guess without getting to salt cellar level!

Love you

Sitting here in the stillness playing some very special music, I realised if I had a choice of being anywhere with anyone on Earth right now, I would choose being here with you beside me, sharing the completeness of this moment and this music. I would love to experience this music with you – music I know you'll love – and you would never, ever forget this moment, in the dark softness of night – doing nothing other than listening to the  music and fully surrendering to the sensation of it, allowing it to permeate the senses.

 

A bit personal – and honest! You know what you mentioned on the phone ‘that was keeping you going’. It’s something I’ve never gone with and neither have my partners been into as it was never needed for us. But I was just thinking about it. I’ve always known I was open to it and was interested in viewing some - but to be totally honest, I always had the feeling it would turn me on so much, I’d never be able to do anything other than just go straight in and it would all  be over and done with in an instant. As that was never really my style, I never bothered. But…..maybe some time I will. I’m not gone yet!

Of course, as you know, that was an area you were heavily involved in before, so I guess you'd need to watch out for any movement to an obsession with it, just to make sure you don’t slip into the familiar. Elves also have tendencies toward obsessions.

 

9.45 Have finished listening to music for the night. Now I’m going to read my favourite author’s new book for a while - am half way through it. Jeffrey Archer. And of course my bed is heated (I turn it off before I get in – don’t need that electricity vibe!)  Ahh, I love it and it often evokes a sigh of pleasure. Amazing what we can get pleasure from. Sensation – what a gift when one keeps it in proportion and doesn’t get obsessed.  I have the softest mattress ever - except for a water bed. I owned a water bed much of my adult life and when I came back to Oz, I wanted a good quality but really soft mattress. I went all over the place and one day went into A Mart (is it) and asked for the softest mattress they had. The guy said ‘you've had a water bed’. I said ‘how the heck did you know that’. Apparently previous water bed owners all ask the same thing. I got a fabulous Sealy full innerspring Posturepedic Divine mattress with top and bottom pillows and its truly excellent. So, its a joy to get in and with the heating too - ah lucky me. I love reading for a while after I go to bed – something I only did during marriages if we both wanted to read.

I keep thinking of things I want to say.

With that hand touching thing today, it wasn’t a problem that I felt what I did. That was beautiful. The problem was the loss I felt afterwards on the way home – that bloody longing thing. I’m not consciously letting go to the higher planes during such moments – it’s just happening naturally as you reach higher levels – so together we’re able to naturally span more levels.

18th August

Just a thought re you removing the ‘pain’. You could ask Archangel Raphael to remove the physical ache (connected to... etc) , if it be in Divine Order. For heavens sake, add to that – not to remove anything that would lessen the love! Love is present for a reason, probably many reasons, but certainly as a reflection back to yourself of your own true needs and desires to be met on all levels. As you say, we aren't finished yet - a few more hugs needed yet. Raphael will do it UNLESS its part of what has to be - perhaps to steer you in a divine direction.

 

Nope, sorry, that’s not it! Keep trying. Ha

Damned if I can see any clues to RE. You only mentioned it on 17th – and I can't find anything since then. More clues needed.

Shel arranged us to go to market at 7am instead, so I’m heading off soon. See who I can substitute hug!!

Real love

 

Lovely at markets. It was so warm and we had lots of laughs. Scottie on form - laughing at the smart arse stuff flying around among the women – things you’ll know - like FRIENDS = For rooting if ever not dating seriously.

On another non banter note….OK, have handled that. Vanished into the ethers! All good. I only handled that physiological gnawing pain thing and left everything else in place. Why not! Happy to keep the rest – it’s real and valid and true, so I’m not going to deny it. Desire for close contact still totally there, as well as missing you and still wanting…..a hug! That is never going to bloody change! Ha. The pain thing was the only part interfering with work or my feeling really comfortable. I think I had a bit of help from my higher friends (not friends as per definition in last para!)

I also did some handling of the why of me not being comfortable knowing you are in pain. Metatron gave me the scenario (bless him). Seems to be gone now (for me).

MESSAGE

When you were in Mongolia together before the parting of the ways occurred over a woman you both loved - you were both in a place infested with rats and he was bitten many times over and nearly died. You were incredibly concerned and did everything in your power to help by dragging him out of that cave (he could barely stumble and needed partial carrying) where you’d both been hiding from the enemy. Despite personal danger that exceeded 80% most of the time, you took him to an area where there was fresh water and you knew villagers would come by eventually and they’d take him and care for him. You were so reluctant to leave him that you placed yourself in even more danger by scouting into enemy areas to see if it appeared that the villagers were on their way there. The villagers were friendly to your side and had been ‘taken over’ by the enemy forces – but they were a docile people so there’d been no need for the enemy to kill them - and besides, the enemy wanted them alive to continue farming so they could get their own food supplies. You had to get back into the battle - there was no question about you needing to do that.  You gave it 3 days still, of tending the wounds and giving fresh water you brought up from the river. The wounds looked much better and the fever had lessened enough for survival, you felt. Then you just had to go. Hoping the villagers needed their water supplies soon you reluctantly left. The villagers arrived 2 days later and quickly hid him under covers on a travois (pull along bed), took him back, cared for him and made him well. You were reunited 6 months later, after the battle was over. You always remained friends, even with the event that separated you – a part of both of your journeys. You saved each other’s lives many times.

 

 

This morning, I noticed a missed call on my mobile from you but not sure when it came in - as I’d pulled the sim card out yesterday and hadn’t reset time and date. Probably nothing. I rarely hear my phone ring. Texts work for me.

I'm damned if I can find an RE reference. Rooting Experience? No, probably way off.

I hope you have ‘History of recent websites visited’ turned off on your phone. I was thinking of my site, but I just realised you’d definitely have history switched off!!!

And what’s so funny about me walking around the unit naked!! Ha. I often do! I don’t have in-laws who can walk in on me – and I make sure I can’t be seen from the beach plus I have the side blinds down from the building next door. Especially when it’s hot, it’s the way to go. Husband and I did often, when no boarders or children around. Bloody fun.

Hey, it’s completely OK to say you don’t want me to leave. REALLY. Go for it. Kinda nice really. The girls and my daughter say it all the time! It’s not karmic at all – or wrong. That sort of thing would only attract karma if said it to someone who could be swayed by it and may change their mind or feel guilty or bad - which may reduce their light (evolution). When you’re talking to someone (about anything really) who’s sufficiently confident in themselves and would not be influenced by what we say to them, it’s fine to give your opinion. It has no detrimental effect.

Gee, I love my life. I‘m so happy I’ve gotten where I am – whatever that is! But it’s a place where I experience gratitude, never take anything for granted and bless every wonderful thing that comes into my life. I live in paradise (for me) being in a home I love; I have a magical setting at night, hearing the ocean waves and listening to music I love; I have the best of friends here and around the world; a great car; love everything I have around me; fresh organic food; website that helps people; a family who are on board with a similar reality of life and health; and of course  - a dear and precious friend who brings me joy and fun and I’m so very, very happy is a part of my life. How incredibly lucky I am.  I don’t underestimate, for one minute, the important place you have in my life – you offer much in so many ways.

Ditto 888

 

In all you choose to do in your life, from now and in each moment until forever, know my strength and love is continually in alignment with yours to draw from if ever needed, as we continue walking this amazing and infinite universal path. I’m honoured to have been called your friend.

Almost there – at 99%.  You deserve all the wonder that will come to you. You have helped many - now the universe gifts it back to you.

I know the courage it requires to take the steps you contemplate. I think you are incredible – to have so brilliantly engineed a complete comeback from an event so drastic it would have  have kept most floundering for lifetimes in their attempt to recover.

You’ve said I am brave. Mine is but a poor reflection of the bravery you’re displaying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


 

 

CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO TAPES PAGE ©